timingDid you know that you can do the RIGHT thing, at the WRONG time?  Yes, you can.  When learning to make good decisions, it is also important to make them at the right time.  Timing is important when making major life decisions.  Education, a new job, changing careers, starting a business, getting married, having children, buying a home…..these are all good things, but they have to be done at the right time.  There is a time and a season for everything.  Timing is key.

I would like to share a current motherhood experience of mine.  Recently, I made a decision where I had to put my daughter and her needs before my own.  I am the mother of a 14-year-old daughter, named Imani.  I am also an ambitious career driven woman, and I believe in having a plan for your life.  One of my goals is to earn my PhD in Social Work.  I have a Master’s degree in Social Work, and I work as a Social Worker and Coach to women in a Detroit homeless shelter.  I aspire to the highest educational level because I want to be an expert and leader in my field.  I also want to be an example and inspiration to the women that I serve that you can accomplish your dreams.

My daughter is at a very fragile age.  She is a teenager and in her first year of high school.  Middle school was challenging, she experienced some challenges in her grades and self-image as a developing young lady.  If I were in school right now, I would not be able to give her the time and attention that she needs.  Let me be extremely clear.  I am not saying that a woman cannot be a mother and attend school.  I did it.  I was not a traditional college student, I earned both my Bachelors and Master’s degrees after I had my daughter; and I am proud of the example that I set for her.  However, what I am saying is that earning a Doctoral degree requires a different level of commitment.  I am also saying that the particular age and stage that my daughter is in, she needs an elevated level of my time and attention.

In addition to her needs, I am currently working in my field where I have an entire case load of women who are in constant crisis.  I also attend various community events as a part of my aspiring leadership role in Human Services.  Taking all of this into account, I had to make a decision that my daughter needed me right now and that getting her successfully through adolescence is more important than my own goal.  In addition, as a Social Worker, I do not want to help other women achieve a better life, while letting my own daughter fall.  She is the most important thing in my life and I am willing to wait a little longer to accomplish this particular goal in order to support her.

key-to-successFor my ladies who are in the process of changing their life, think about the timing of your decisions.  Going from negative to positive is great, and that is the goal; but you also have to consider the timing of your decisions.  For example, you may want a new job, and I encourage you to go after it.  However, in your process of acquiring a new job, consider how it will affect other areas of your life.  Pay, benefits, your work shift, your children, etc.  You have to evaluate all of the areas in your life when you make major life decisions.  Some decisions are not about being “good” or “bad” or “right” or “wrong.”  It may be more about timing.  Remember, make good decisions, and make them at the right time.  Timing Is Key!

Love, Tonia

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