truth_vs_factsThere is a difference between a fact and the truth.  Although they may sound like the same thing, they are not synonymous.  I learned many facts in school earning my degree in Social Work: if you are from a single parent household, you are ABC% to have XYZ outcome.  If you have been to prison, you have ABC% risk of recidivism (going back to prison), and your children are XYZ% more likely to end up in prison as well.  If you do not have a college degree, then you are ABC% more likely to have less paying jobs in your lifetime.  If you are a minority from a poor neighborhood and a background of generational poverty, then you will be in poverty too.  These are all facts.

If you sit and look at the circumstances of your present life, they may look quite bleak.  You may be in poverty, sick, having problems with your children, broke, unhappy, depressed, in a legal battle, hate your boss, hate your spouse lol…..any combination of these may be your current circumstances.  Do not get caught up in circumstances, because they are just that…..circumstances; and circumstances change.  Your life can be in one condition today, and a completely different condition tomorrow.  Circumstances change, and facts change.  Just because something is your current circumstance, or a fact, does not mean it has to be YOUR truth.

Now we come to what’s important…..the truth!  You determine YOUR OWN truth!!!  You get to determine what you want out of life.  The facts may say I am supposed to be poor, but your truth can be different, you can be prosperous.  The facts may say you will end up repeating the same criminal behaviors and end up back in prison, but your truth can be a successful life.  The facts may say you will be in low paying jobs for the rest of your life, but your truth can be earning your college degree later in life, and having a great career.  Or, not having a college degree and starting your own thriving business.

Now let me be very clear about something.  Although I am a woman of faith, I also live in reality.  We have to be honest with ourselves about our current circumstances.  We can’t live life with our head in the sand, avoiding life and living in fantasy land.  If your current circumstance is that you are in poverty, or in a negative cycle, or your health is not well, or you are stuck in a job that you hate, or whatever the case may be…..be honest about that.  Then be honest about the facts.  If I do not change this situation, this will be my outcome.  Oh yes, those facts are real!  If you do not take control of your life, the world has an outcome planned for you and your family.  But what I am telling you all today is that you can change your circumstances, and determine a different path for yourself. You do not have to accept the pre-determined outcome that the world, your family, your enemies have planned for you.

You may ask me (and many of the ladies that I Coach do ask me this) “I want something different Ms. Walker, but I don’t know how to get it, what should I do?”  I wanted something different in my life too, and I got it.  Now I’m trying to get to the next level and I am still working towards my next goals.  Here are some tips that have helped me and may help you:

  1. Where are you right now? – Take an honest survey of your life. As stated above, you can’t live in fantasy land.  The first step in changing your circumstances is to acknowledge it.  That is one of the reasons people abuse substances, to avoid reality.  They stay high all of the time, so they do not have to face their life.  Except when the high is gone, they are still in the same circumstance, or probably worse because of the substance abuse.  Take some quiet time, cut off the TV and the radio, put down the phone, get alone with no one but you and God and face your life for what it is.
  2. Go to your Creator – My old Pastor, Apostle Ellis Smith, used to say you have to go to the one who created something to find out its purpose. We know what the inventors of a chair, a fork, or a speaker had planned because they told us when they put the item on the market.  This chair was created to sit in, this fork was created to eat food with, this speaker was created to fill the room with music.  Who created you?  So, how do you know what you were created for if you do not go to Him and ask?  Here are two tips – 1-you can find out what we were ALL created for in general by reading His Word, and 2-you can find out what you were specifically created for through prayer.  Boom, there you go.  Did you know that some inventions were created for one thing, but ended up being used for something else?  The same thing can happen to you.  You were created by God for one thing, but if you do not find out and “choose” to walk in your destiny, then the enemy, dark forces, the world, your enemies whatever you want to call it, will end up using you for something else.  You may end up a drug addict on the street, walking around in darkness out of your mind, an abuser of women and children, a burden on society, unhappy and miserable, or a variety of other negative outcomes that he who comes to steal, kill, and destroy has planned for you.  Do you want what God has planned for you, or what the world has planned for you?  If you want what God has planned, then here are a few scriptures about what God says about you:
    1. The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow then, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. ~ Deuteronomy 28:13
    2. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~ Jeremiah 29:11
    3. Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. ~ Jeremiah 1:5
    4. Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. ~ Psalm 127:1
  3. Determine your truth – Everybody does not want the same thing out of life. What I want is different from what you want, and it should be.  But you have to decide what it is that you want.  Do you know the saying, “If you don’t know where you are going, then you will end up anywhere.”  That is where those facts come in, the world has an outcome planned for you.  And if you are just roaming around aimlessly in life, you will end up there.  Too many of my people are just existing, they are roaming around like zombies.  Dead on the inside, just roaming around eating, drinking, consuming, and being a burden to society.  Sorry to be harsh, but it’s true.  WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?  WHERE ARE YOU GOING?  WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?  If you don’t have a plan, get one!  There is too much to say concerning this one point, but you can find more in a few of my previous postings titled “Luck is preparation meeting opportunity,” “What kind of person do you want to be,” and “What you put IN, is what you get OUT.”
  4. ACTION – The last step is action! If you want something different, you have to do something different.  This is where the rubber hits the road.  Once you acknowledge your current circumstance, determine your truth, go to God for guidance, then you have to get to work.  This step is different for everyone.  You may go back to school, find a new job, start an exciting career, get into a new relationship, get out of an old relationship, start a business, buy a house, and so on.  Basically, this is where you have to DO SOMETHING!  Just wanting it is not enough, you have to do something to change your circumstances, and to get the life that you want!

I hope that I have helped you all see the difference between facts and the truth.  For those whose facts do not align up to their desired truth, I hope that I provided you with guidance to change the facts and circumstances in your life and get to your truth.  If I have done that, then I am living my truth.

Love, Tonia

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