new-year-new-goalsThe New Year is the perfect time for new beginnings.  Yes, it is true that you can make a fresh start any time, but there is something special about the first of the year.  It is a time for new goals, and a fresh outlook on life.  Some people make new year’s resolutions, I like to update my goals and add new ones.  My goals are an expansion of the previous year’s work and things that I have been praying about for some time and finally decide to pursue.  For example, at the beginning of last year I decided to start a motivational blog for women.  I was turning 40, finally working in my desired field, and I was looking for ways to expand my professional reach.  I researched, planned, and developed my website and launched as scheduled for my 40th birthday.  Genuine, personally developed goals are better then random and generic resolutions.

As the year progressed, I started to look for ways to market my website with no money for marketing.  I made the goal to get one of my blog posts published in a newspaper or magazine as an article.  I was not able to accomplish that goal, but I have not given up, that is now one of my goals for 2017.  Remember, it is all about perspective.  I just started my blog in May of 2016, just because I did not get anything published in the first year it is not a failure.  I choose to look at the fact that I have received tremendous support, and positive feedback in my first year, and now I look forward to having something published in year two.  Also, I believe that everything happens for a reason.  If it didn’t happen, then there is a reason it didn’t.  It will happen when it is supposed to happen.

One of the characteristics that I see with women who are living in poverty, is that they fall apart whenever something doesn’t work out.  For example, I have seen many of them apply for one job, don’t get it, and they give up and say there are no jobs.  In order to accomplish goals, you need strength, focus, drive, faith, determination, consistency, and patience.  When new residents enter the shelter that I work at, most of them think that housing is their issue.  However, this is rarely true.  Not every time, but most of the time their entire life is in disarray; housing is only a symptom of the real issue, which in this arena is poverty.  What is even more sad, is that most of the time, they don’t even know it.  Part of my job as a Coach is to introduce them to something different, and show them that they can achieve something more out of life then getting Section 8.

tamar-get-your-lifeIf that is you and you want something more out of life, it is time to do just that, it is time to “Get Your Life.”  This is an urban saying that sometimes has a negative connotation, however I mean it in a positive way.  If you are in poverty, or stuck in a negative behavior cycle, or in a toxic relationship, or even simply unhappy, it is time to get your life together.  I am not telling you anything I have not told myself.  There was a time when I was stuck in a dark place.  I was depressed, heartbroken over the loss of my daughter, disappointed in myself about where I was in life, hurt over the negative relationship that I had with my mother, and just unhappy.  But the one shining light, was that I wanted something more out of life.  I didn’t want to be broke or broken, I didn’t want to be unhappy, and I didn’t want to let the naysayers be right.

Now it’s your turn.  It is time for you to want something more out of life.  Take hold to your destiny and what you were born to be.  Even if people, including your own family, put you down and told you that you were nothing, it is time to rise above that.  I know how it feels to have the person that is normally your biggest support to be your worst enemy.  My mother told me that I was not going to be anything, she called me names and put me down.  My situation was tricky because on the outside I had everything, we had the facade of a good life and home, but because of my mother’s mental illness and my father’s alcoholism there were a lot of toxic and negative behaviors occurring in our household.  My financial struggle didn’t occur until my young adulthood, at the same time that I lost my first daughter.  I had to fight to find my own identity and you can too.  You get to decide what you want out of life, no matter what you have endured.


Here are 10 positive steps to take in the New Year:

  1. Start wanting more and you will attract more.
  2. Start thinking positive thoughts and you will produce positive energy.
  3. Start moving and you will start seeing results.
  4. Get organized and you will find your entire life becoming more orderly.
  5. Create some goals and you will have something constructive to focus on.
  6. Start having standards and you will automatically avoid a lot of trouble.
  7. Ask God for guidance and He will make a way.
  8. Find some positive and inspiring people to surround yourself with and they will rub off on you.
  9. Improve your appearance and people will start receiving you better.
  10. Forgive the people in your life who hurt you and you will start to heal.


Here are 10 things to STOP doing:

  1. Stop complaining.
  2. Stop having a pity party.
  3. Stop walking around looking a mess.
  4. Stop having children that you cannot provide for.
  5. Stop being so focused on having a man that you let anything with 2 legs enter your life.
  6. Stop letting people mistreat you.
  7. Stop living a life full of drama.
  8. Stop wishing bad on other people.
  9. Stop being mean and nasty.
  10. Stop putting destructive toxins in your body.


Normally, I have more extensive tips, but today we are getting straight to the point.  In order to get your life together there are things you need to start doing, and things you need to stop doing.  If you want something different, you have to do something different.  I am in a good place in my life, but I want more and I am determined to get it.  I am moving forward and it is my goal to take as many women with me as I can.  If you are with me and want to move forward, let’s do it together.  I am trying to get my life, and help you get yours at the same time.  I am determined that 2017 will be a year of increase for me.  I WILL GO TO THE NEXT LEVEL.  What does this year mean for your life?  If there is any way that I can help you in your endeavors, please let me know, even if it is just being a listening ear.  I love you all and Happy New Year!

*As of January 2017 I am moving to a bi-weekly posting schedule.  But look for other surprises sometimes in-between blog posts.  Also, feel free to follow me on Facebook where I will post daily motivational tips and quotes.

Love, Tonia

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