How do you present yourself to the world?  By “present” I mean your appearance, attitude, and energy.  When you walk in a room, how are you perceived?  People often say “don’t worry about what people think about you.”  But that’s only half true.  No, you shouldn’t obsess or live to please others.  BUT, you should be conscious of how you present and carry yourself.  How you are received can have major consequences to your growth.  For example, if you have bad hygiene, and are rude, mean, and nasty, you will not be received well in life.  It isn’t okay just because you keep proclaiming “I don’t care what people think about me.”  You should care!!!  how-do-you-present-yourselfYou need to be aware that your appearance and attitude can cause unnecessary problems.  Let wisdom and maturity teach you to carry yourself well, and be received well for the MOST PART.  Then for the FEW who still have a problem with you…..that’s when you can say “I don’t care what they think.”  How you carry yourself DOES matter!

The age range of the women at the shelter I work at is young, most are in their twenties.  Unfortunately, most of them have not had a good example of positive womanhood.  Many were raised in foster care and group homes, some were abandoned by their mother, some had their mother around but she was a negative influence.  Society often talks badly about the young women of today, but what are we doing to help them?  I love you and that’s why I want you to know better.  Here are some very practical tips to help you learn to carry yourself better:

1.      Clean under your nails.  Do not walk around with a pile of dirt under your nails.  It tells a lot about your cleanliness.

2.      Keep your lips moisturized, and check the sides of your mouth.  Having chapped lips and crud in the sides of your mouth is off putting.

3.      Do not let the top of your butt hang over your pants.  Take special note when you sit down.  Wear an extra undergarment if needed to cover your midsection.  Your butt crack showing is not attractive.

4.      Control your body and have good posture.  When you walk, and sit sloppy it shows a lack of class.  Sit up straight and hold your head up. claire huxtable

5.      Do not speak loudly and ignorant in public.  It makes you look ghetto and aggressive even if you are not.

6.      Have good hygiene.  I cannot speak on this enough.  Take the time each day to clean your body. Brush your teeth, wash your face and body, put on lotion and deodorant, and wear clean under garments every day. 

7.      Say please and thank you.  Children are taught this, but it also applies to adults.  Being polite makes people more willing to help you.  Saying a simple please or thank you when seeking help can do wonders.

8.      Practice good dental hygiene.  Dental hygiene can affect many different areas of your health and your appearance.  Get your 6 month cleanings and exams.  Follow up on fillings, extractions, or any other dental needs you have.  Bad teeth and breath can affect how people receive you.

9.      Keep your hair neatly groomed.  Sometimes I just cannot believe how some of the ladies at the shelter have their hair.  Some have their hair literally standing up on their head.  No one can take you seriously like that.  Everyone cannot afford to have their hair done professionally, I completely understand that.  However, you can pull it back into a ponytail, flat iron or curl it, wear it in a natural style, or braids.  The point is to be aware that part of presenting yourself well is having clean, well-groomed hair. michelle obama

10.   Be kind.  This may seem simple, but trust me it isn’t!  Presenting yourself to the world in a kind manner will open many doors.  It could be as small as approaching the window at the Secretary of State, to something as big as being in court.  Being kind can change the outcome of a lot of situations.

There will be two groups of people reading this post.  People who need it, and people who can help teach others.  If you are in the first group and need it, there is nothing to feel bad about.  When you know better, you do better.  It is never too late to change.  If you do not believe that these tips will help to improve your quality of life, test it out!  Try them for 30 days and I promise, you will see a difference.

If you are in the second group you can help teach others.  Instead of just talking about women who may not carry themselves well, help them.  If the timing is appropriate, talk to them.  Direct them to helpful materials such as my blog, or self-help books.  Be an example, and lovingly show them a better way.  Let’s help our own instead of just talking about them.

Feel free to leave comments with any more tips that can help women to present themselves better.  

Love, Tonia

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