Yes he/she left you…So What!
Thank God they left!
Yes they mistreated you…So What!
Now you know their true colors!
Yes the job fired you…So What!
Now you can pursue your dream job!
Yes they got over on you…So What!
Now you have more skills to peep game!
No your family/friends are not supporting your business…So What!
Find your real market, which is usually not your family/friends anyway!
No it isn’t fair…So What!
Stop complaining about it and move on.


Don’t misunderstand, I am one of the most understanding and compassionate people ever!  But I am also a motivator.  After you talk about it, cry about it, and get it out (which is healthy) then it’s time to move on My Loves.  If you don’t move on, you will look up and it will be 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 50 years down the road and you will STILL be talking about it.

Think I’m exaggerating, HA!  I see it on a regular basis!  And not just with my clients in my work as a Social Worker.  I see it in my own family, and in people I know.  Now for clarity, I am not talking about someone mentioning traumatic events or difficult experiences sometimes or at the appropriate time.  I am talking about when people are stuck there on repeat for years and cannot move on.

Their spouse left them or did them wrong 10 years ago and they still talk about it all the time.  On top of that, now every man or every woman is compared to them, and they are all no good because of what they went through.

Someone mistreated you, a friend, family member, neighbor, or whatever the situation was.  Now there are NO GOOD people in the world.  NO ONE should be trusted.  EVERYONE is out to get you.

It is all about perspective.  You have to change your perspective to see the blessing even in challenges and difficult situations.  You can choose to see the blessings in it, or choose to only see the bad.

Do you know that God has used almost all of the challenges in my past to bless me?  It took years for me to get to the point where I could see that.  I could still be complaining about the things that have happened to me, but I won!  I made it!  I triumphed!  But you can’t wait until you win.  Part of getting to the winning spot is that you have to change your perspective along that way.  That is a huge part of what will change the direction in your life and put you on the winning path.

Don’t get stuck on the hurt path.  Repeating the same hurtful event or situation over and over again.  At a certain point even the people who care about you will get tired of hearing it.  Then you start to add on that no one is there for you.  It isn’t that they are not there for you, it is that you have worn them out!  They can’t take it anymore!

We all have challenges in our life and face difficult situations, it is a part of life.  If it has been a year or two, get out of that rut now. Don’t let it turn into the 20 year dialogue about how everyone has done you wrong.  Sometimes you have to go to the opposite extreme.  Make a decision that you will not discuss that event for a while.  Make a huge jump to move on.

So, now what?  What are you going to do now?  A difficult situation that is common is losing a job.  Losing a job IS a big deal.  I have experienced losing a job before.  A few times!   

Maybe this can be your opening to start looking for your dream job, to change direction in your career, or to start your own business.  Especially if you didn’t like the job, company, or people anyway.  Sometimes God forces us out!  We won’t leave.  We stay there too long and complain every day.  Dying a slow death doing work that we hate.  So maybe God gave you an out.  This could be your blessing in disguise as they say.  Choose to focus on the next step in your future.

Ask yourself, what good came out of it?  Someone you trusted betrayed you, so now you know their true colors.  Your spouse left, now you can finally get the love you deserve.  Your friends aren’t buying your products, so now you can find your real customers, who aren’t your friends and family anyway!

The time you spend focusing on the people who are not supporting you, is the time you could be spending finding your tribe, your customers, your base.  People usually do not become successful at business by their family and friends buying their products, or using their services.  Get out there and find your people.  And by the way, you won’t “attract” them by constantly complaining about other people.

It is time for you to move on! Don’t say anything else about it! Not to sound harsh, but Sweetie you have to MOVE ON! It happened, so what!  What are you going to do about it?  Are you going to move past it, or stay stuck there?  The choice is yours.  I encourage you to MOVE ON!  Move past the pain.  Move past the situation.  Move on to your future.  Make a choice today to MOVE ON!

Love, Tonia

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